...

I don't understand it right now. I feel like I'm in a haze and there are so many areas in my life that need attention but I don't know what to do.

I don't understand what's going on with friends or parents or money situations or anything. I can't seem to do things right in so many areas. I haven't had a bunch of really sad times in a while, but now it seems like they're all coming at the same time now. My really close friend is leaving for college and won't be back until next summer-she's the one who was the only person to still talk to me. I'm trying to take control and do my job but apparently I don't know how to do that. I must not be very good at it. I'm the kind of person who takes every little comment personal. I'm either really encouraged or really hurt. And I, honestly, don't have one person in my life who is encouraging me like I'm used to... done whining.

exciting but difficult

I have been really learning a lot of worship leading lately...from WorshipLeader magazine, CCLI, and justworship.com. I have also had a lot of new opportunities like a new bass player, Paige is learning bass, possibly another keyboard player, SongSelect resources, and lead sheets for the band. These changes are super exciting and I really feel like our church is gonna do something big. I was talking to my dad after he got back from men's fraternity last night and there were 30 guys there, a bunch of good food, and great responses. A bunch of new people from the club are going now and I guess they are just growing really fast. I really do feel like every ministry is at a point where they are growing and people start realizing that they have gifts that can be used for the body. Like the children's ministry, my mom helps out and they just had a meeting yesterday and they each have like 8 or 9 kids in their classes every morning and most of these people, I know, don't even like kids very much, but they make it an effort to start relationships with kids vs. just talking at them on Sunday. Ok, back to worship. I have noticed that now that things are rolling and getting more exciting, things are getting waaaaay more dificult. Our new bass player bought CCC a new CCLI membership, wants to play bass, and wants to help me write parts for different instruments. I'm pumped that he wants to play bass... now we have three. He bought the licence and now I have a bunch of resources and lead sheets. But he feels liks he should have all the passwords and membership info on CCLI but I barely know him, and he has gone to our church once. I really want him to play and help me if he wants with lead stuff, but I don't think we need all separate music to look off of, the lead sheets will be fine. Him playing bass has also stirred up my sis wanting to play drums and bass and everything when I think she would benefit from a break because she has played almost every week I have played.

So in conclusion, when exciting things happen, don't get too excited because you'll ask the new bass player to play every week and try to break your own rule by letting him play if he can't make practice and tell everyone that we have a bass player and the drummer gets mad because she feels like she's being pushed out but she's really not but she doesn't see it that way....ok?

New strings

On Monday I went to Gottschalks music (where I bought my Taylor) so they could check out my guitar because I've been having problems with my top bridge pin popping out. The guy acted like I was stupid and said that the strings I use are just too thick for the holes.....(I've used this brand of strings for as long as I have played guitar). Sooooooo, yesterday I bought the strings that he said were so amazing. I put them on today and they come in a bright gold package so I automatically thought that the jerk at Gottschalks lied to me. As it turns out, they are really bright sounding but I think it will be ok. They were $15 which is a lot because the strings I have always used are good strings and about $7. The guy at GuitarCenter said that they would last a long time so I'm taking his word for it.

I had been looking at bedspreads earlier yesterday before GuitarCenter and decided to go to Macy's because it was pretty close. I forgot where Macy's was and took Blackstone all the way to Clinton looking for it... yeah I felt dumb because Macy's is just at Fashipon Fair...on Shaw. But I did get to see a part of Fresno that I had never seen before...:). I've never been to Sound Stage so when I saw it, I went in to check it out. Yeah, it's kind of just a bunch of old men talking about the "good 'ol days". I've been looking at wireless systems for my guitar. Matt just got one and I'm kind of jealous so I thought I'd try to find one. Basically I either need to get the $380 one or not at all because the other ones are just not good....so I'm saving up. :)

At GuitarCenter I also got to play some other nice acoustic guitars. I played a couple of Taylors (I love Taylors) and tried some Gibsons, but for some reason they sounded terrible and looked like they Elmer's glued two plastic parts together and are selling them for $2000 and up. I thought Gibson acoustics were really good. Like in August Rush. That guitar sounded AMAZING! Why were they so bad at GuitarCenter? I don't know.... I was just disapointed :(

P.S. I chose this lovely goldish-yellow to represent the gold package for my new Ernie Ball strings... hee hee :)

Note: I would like you all to notice that I added "Sadie Hawkins Dance" by Relient K to my playlist.... that's for Holly Borror, my fighting buddy at Stram Camp

(nobody knows who she is....she's an old friend from the club...we fought a lot...hee hee)

getting into shape part II

I worked out again today....wow I wish I had something more exciting to talk about... I got myself some gym shorts and a workout shirt and I thought spending money on workout stuff would motivate me to actually do it... yeah no. I pushed myself to just ride the bike for 20 minutes... at least I had David Crowder to pump me up. :)

I'm redoing my room... well starting to. Hopefully it will go pretty fast because this is gonna cost A LOT! My color scheme is black, white, and I'm thinking about adding a burgundy-like color. Now that I think about it, my blog's color scheme is black, white, gray, and burgundy... :)

And hopefully I will get a new phone on Saturday... thinking about the BlackJack II because I want something that can check email and stuff...

That's all folks!

getting into shape (or at least trying to)

I've recently decided that I need to start exercising. I didn't take P.E. this last year and I haven't done anything really active in a long time so I worked out today on my dad's stationary bike. It was actually pretty fun and I can feel it now so I know I'm doing something to help me loose the extra fat. I'm planning on getting a gym membership, but I don't know if I would use it if I didn't have anyone to go with. My friend who would go with me is moving to Missouri in August so I'm gonna have to go alone... :(

Any tips on staying with the program?

Thoughtfulness

I think that today is a thoughtful day. A day to ponder, ruminate, and use big words in a blog. I don't know why today is the day to ponder, I guess as the first day of summer, it just feels right to keep my brain exploring. (I'm really not very smart, I just like trying to sound insightful).

I guess I'm just bored because I don't have anything thoughtful to talk about or vent.

I bought 6 cds today. Border's was having a 40% off sale so I bought:
Leeland- Opposite Way
Chris Tomlin- See The Morning
David Crowder Band- Illuminate
Bethany Dillon & Matt Hammitt- In Christ Alone
Hillsong United- I Heart Revolution With Hearts As One
Passion artists- God of This City

I'm super excited to load up my iPod with all this good music (I don't care what you think, Isaiah, about any of these artists..... :)...).

Ok I'm done....too much good music to listen to.......

2nd blog

Well, for my second blog as Manica you get to read me vent:

Why is it that teenagers who have family who are strong Christian leaders get to do whatever they want and not be accountable for their actions. I don't get it. I work so hard to follow Christ and set an example for unbelievers (and believers), but everybody else gets to do what they want and not take responsibility for it. No one seems to care if they are living in sin, just as long as their parents are leaders in the church they have to be good kids. The obvious response to my dilema is "I just need to love them, like Christ loves them" and that's fine. I believe I need to show love to them too, but what if everyone is just denying that there is a problem? Because we all know there is a problem. When a person who professes to know God doesn't live like it there is a problem. And when you hear the same disgusting jokes at church that you hear at school.....what?!?! That's unacceptable. Sorry, but it is. I might sound like I just think that I'm better than anyone else is, but I DO NOT! I really dont. I've gone through this before. I just try to follow Christ and the Bible says that I need to live like Christ and Christ never spit out disgusting disrespectful jokes, used His Father's name in vain, or did things just to be cool. Let's just set the record straight: I don't think I'm better than anyone because I'm not. I sin just as much as everybody else does. Mine usually just isn't so out in the open. I just feel like I'm the only person my age who even tries to act like Christ. Why can't I name one person my age who doesn't really care about what people think of them being a Christian andacting like it? Are we all just too scared to say anything? That's what I did when I had this problem in '07 and now not one of the people I hung out with will talk to me. And one of them was my best friend. And everyone's parents don't seem to mind who their kids hang out with as long as they're not in jail.

Can I have an opinon? What do you think because I'm obviously not understanding if there really isn't a problem...?

There you go... my first online vent of '08.

First blog

Well, this is my first blog as Manica.... Hopefully someone will comment on my blog... last time I had a blog, no one read it so it really had no purpose. Hopefully people read this one.

Well, I guess I'll talk about myself. Is that what you're supposed to do on a blog? Well I like music a lot, my favorites right now are Jennifer Knapp, Jason Mraz, David Crowder Band, Phil Wickham, Chris Tomlin, and Brandi Carlile. I like acoustic, folk rock, worship music for the most part, but I do like an occasional gospel or hip hop song.

I lead worship at my church every Sunday now and love to hang out with my 4 friends.... who happen to be most of the people in the worship band with me.

I'll make sure I update this blog...well as long as someone talks to me... :)